I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
pray to the hookup gods
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
