Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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