He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
