Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
