I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want nice things and good sex
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Im part way to drunk.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
