Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
