brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
