I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
