i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
