do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
