i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
