Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
