but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My ATM looks so different sober.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
