I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
