i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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