You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
