The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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