I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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