Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
