I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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