oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
zippers are such a cool invention
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
