my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
