Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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