I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
