I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She's the barista slut.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
