ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
