i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The Olympian is in my bed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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