I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
