Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
