Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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