haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
