If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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