every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
