dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
