haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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