come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
