This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
