I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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