I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
