the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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