No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
