And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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