i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
