Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
