8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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