i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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