All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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