I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
