But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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