my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
