I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Randomize
