whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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