I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
