so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
