The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize