This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
