just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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