He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize